I had a moment today when I remember all I ever wanted in life. And that was to perform. Ever since I can remember I wanted to be a performer. For a short time I did want to be a professional soccer player, but I realized my talents were far greater in Musical Theater than in Soccer. So today when I was watching the show "The Voice" and I'm hearing people talk about how they've wanted this all their lives, I cried. I knew how they felt. While I am in no way unhappy with my life right now, it just hit me how much I gave up. I never thought my theater career would ever take a back seat. Aaron has always supported me, even encouraged me to continue to do theater, but sometimes I don't think he understands that if I do theater, I don't do anything else. I get to do theater again this fall. I'm really not sure how things will play out. It's hard to do something I love so much, only half-way. I want to finish my degree, but I wonder where the road will lead after that.
It's hard to give up the dreams you've had since you were a little girl. The best way I can think to describe how I feel is through song...a musical one at that.
"A Change in Me" from Beauty and the Beast
There's been a change in me
A kind of moving on
Though what I used to be
I still depend on
For now I realize
That good can come from bad
That may not make me wise
But oh it makes me glad
And I-- I never thought I'd leave behind
My childhood dreams
But I don't mind
For now I love the world I see
No change of heart a change in me
For in my dark despair
I slowly understood
My perfect world out there
Had disappeared for good
But in it's place I feel
A truer life begin
And it's so good and real
It must come from within
And I-- I never thought I'd leave behind
My childhood dreams but I don't mind
I'm where and who I want to be
No change of heart
A change in me
No change of heart
A change in me
Sara Jane! I love you to pieces. I know exactly how you feel and can tell you that seven years ago I made that change of heart, and I have never looked back. I still get teary eyed just listening to musicals and remembering that a part of my heart is still with those dreams I once had. But having your own marriage and family is bigger and better than all of that! Now you get to make others' dreams come true. I realized that as I watched Matt at graduation last month. Enjoy this wonderful ride! You are just plain amazing!
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